Rhoda Brenner

Age 92, died on Monday, December 8, 2014 at her home in Ithaca, New York surrounded by her family and loving caregivers at Sterling House. Rhoda was born May 9, 1922 in the Bronx, New York, daughter of the late Morris and Dora Greenberg who had emigrated from Bialystok, Poland. She was raised with strong Jewish traditions. She spent her early years surrounded by her extended family. Her grandmother lived downstairs and Rhoda saw her every day after school. She and her family often traveled to the Elmira area to spend time with many aunts, uncles and cousins who had settled in upstate NY. Rhoda attended Hunter High School and Hunter College and then earned a master's degree in French and Spanish from Smith College. She was a pioneer, working as a translator, first for the League of Nations and then for the United Nations. She traveled extensively throughout Europe and South America. She even rode a donkey in Macchu Pichu. In another era, Rhoda's career might have led to a high position in the UN, a practice in law or a leadership position in government, but Rhoda met Egon Brenner and married him on December 24, 1950. She then devoted herself to her family and raising her two daughters, Dorothy and Claudia, in Whitestone, New York. Rhoda passed the Jewish traditions on to her children, serving as an amazing example of compassion and kindness and training them to give tzedakah in their own lives. Despite the lack of a professional career during these decades, she volunteered in many organizations dear to her, serving as president of the Clearview Jewish Center Sisterhood, president of the PS 184 PTA, and in many other leadership positions in Hadassah, where she was a lifelong member. After their daughters were grown, Rhoda and Egon moved to Manhattan, with easy access to opera and music, which they enjoyed immensely. They also bought a small condo in Atlantic City and Rhoda loved playing blackjack. The pair retired to Florida where they enjoyed the year-round beautiful weather. When they moved to an assisted living facility there, Rhoda, not surprisingly, advocated fiercely for the less able residents as well as for the nurse's aides, whom she believed were overworked and underpaid. After Egon passed away in December 2011, Rhoda moved to be near her family in Ithaca. The love and closeness to extended family that enveloped Rhoda in her childhood in Brooklyn returned to her life in her final years, where she embraced an expanded definition of family with her daughter Dorothy Halperin, MD, grandson Marc Halperin, MD, and Marc's partner Tom Balcerski, PhD; her daughter Claudia Brenner, architect, daughter-in-law Melissa Doak, RN, grandson Reuben Brenner-Adams, and other extended family including Joshua Adams, Carol Pozefsky, Morgan Kolb and Anne Rhodes. She delighted in all of their educational, professional, and athletic achievements. She loved the celebratory dinner for Marc and Tom's graduations at Stella's Barn and the summer trip to Dano's on Seneca Lake for Dorothy's birthday; she gave Melissa a treasured piece of her mother's jewelry when she became an RN; she took pleasure in buying Reuben's baseball equipment over the years. She delighted in hearing about Reuben's success at RIT and Morgan's graduation from New Visions and her acceptance to Brandeis University. Even more significant was her ability to support her loved ones through challenges and pain. She always said that her 90+ years on earth made her a wonderful person to absorb pain and provide perspective as family and friends endured rough times. As Rhoda aged she became less and less mobile and endured great and debilitating pain; yet despite her suffering over two decades she had a unique ability to forge personal relationships with those who cared for her and to continue to enjoy activities and lifelong interests. She loved word games and in her later years she could often be found playing Bookworm on her computer, a game introduced to her by her grandson Reuben. She enjoyed seeing the fall colors, the snow falling, the spring flowers, and the taste of berries, peaches, chocolate ice cream, and ginger ale. Melissa and Claudia created a bird feeder paradise outside Rhoda's windows where the city-born intellectual delighted in watching the antics of blue jays, goldfinches, woodpeckers, and cardinals-and the fat squirrel that cleaned up their leftovers. She loved the activities and field trips arranged by Catherine Montgomery at Sterling House. Each time the Sterling House van passed signage for Claudia Brenner Design, Rhoda delighted in her daughter's work. We jokingly referred to Rhoda as the VP of Claudia's firm; and on a monthly basis she tracked Claudia's progress in billing and status of current projects. Even on an ambulance ride to the emergency room, Rhoda was thrilled to hear that the driver's parents had built a house designed by her daughter. During her years in Ithaca, Rhoda embraced Judaism with her family, celebrating each holiday with tradition, food, and prayer. Special thanks to Rabbi Brian Walt of Congregation Tikkun v'Or and Rabbi Dovid Birk of Chabad House for their flexibility and commitment to maximizing Rhoda's spiritual connection to Judaism. It was in front of the bird feeders and surrounded by her loving family that Rhoda passed on Monday morning, December 8th. In keeping with Jewish tradition, Rhoda's burial took place the following day before our region was blanketed in snow. She is buried in the Franklin Street Jewish Cemetery in Elmira, next to her husband and in the company of her beloved cousins, uncles, aunts, and extended family of many generations from the Elmira and Horseheads area. Hospicare of Tompkins County and the staff of Sterling House enabled Rhoda's immediate family to envelop her in love and caring during her final days. Every touch, medication, and necessity was provided by those who loved her during the days preceding her death. So many thanks to the capable staff at Sterling House, including Dolores, Jen, Millie, Dawn, Emma, Iman, Ashley, and Chandra. Thanks also to Ava and Dan for their most sensitive help and the generosity of Sterling House Executive Director Ellen Wood. May Rhoda's memory be a blessing. In lieu of flowers the family encourages tzedukah (charitable donations) be made to Hospicare of Tompkins County or the Rabbi's Fund at Congregation Tikkun v'Or.